The first year I gave my kid money to buy little gifts at the craft fair, for our upcoming Christmas, he bought me a cartooney frog poster that said "Better to burn up than fade away." He's 50 now and that has always been a star to steer by. So interesting to read how you put the muscle into it.
"the ability to produce humans delighted me" Yes, right? And so complete unlike many of my projects abandoned for the new shiny thing. I stopped, as you know, at two, but then got a chance to tinker with three other models created by other women. So satisfying. Well...when it is.
Cindy you are a brilliant inspiration. As a male, I loved this: "Nor will he experience the part where after nine months of togetherness he has to share his creation with the world only to learn that he’s now doubled his vulnerability quotient, doubled the slings and arrows to which he’s subject, his own fate now secondary to his child’s." Keep telling the world its truth in the most beautiful way.
What a treat to wake up to your essay this morning! Thanks for sharing your beautiful and painfully honest insights into motherhood. It makes me feel like maybe I didn't do it wrong – parenting was always meant to be impossibly hard. Purple hearts to all who dare(d)!
I love this bit in particular: 'Having kids is not a glad or not-glad thing. ...“Glad” I associate with getting my teeth cleaned or remembering to close the car windows. Parenting isn’t like that, it’s too big and brawling and messy....' Brava babycakes!
Thanks Cindy. My kids, like many of yours, are full-frontal adults now. And the hard work continues, but now it's the hard work of Keeping Myself to Myself, Mouth Shut, Expression Neutral, Not Being Defensive, Trying Not to be Hurt, after all those years of sweeping the ice in front of their curling rocks as they threaten to slide amok, while verbalizing softly and loudly. And your piece brought up another thought: I remember when daycares began hiring men over 30 years ago, but few took (take) up the offer. First of all, it's poorly paid, but I wonder if men simply don't want to undertake or even understand the hard work that caregiving is, how constantly challenging, sometimes mundane but not always, and yet soooo rewarding. And thus men (the patriarchy?) under-value it in our economy and in society. That's not a fully fledged thought, but there it is, public from me for the first time but probably not original. I hope your curling rock is gliding smoothly with all the right broom sweeps in play guiding the way. xo
The first year I gave my kid money to buy little gifts at the craft fair, for our upcoming Christmas, he bought me a cartooney frog poster that said "Better to burn up than fade away." He's 50 now and that has always been a star to steer by. So interesting to read how you put the muscle into it.
"the ability to produce humans delighted me" Yes, right? And so complete unlike many of my projects abandoned for the new shiny thing. I stopped, as you know, at two, but then got a chance to tinker with three other models created by other women. So satisfying. Well...when it is.
This piece hit all the right soul deep spots in me. Thank you.
I love reading your pieces. I admire your ability to be succinct while being funny, warm, and so bang on
Thanks, my love.
What good fortune to lay eyes on writing this good
Cindy you are a brilliant inspiration. As a male, I loved this: "Nor will he experience the part where after nine months of togetherness he has to share his creation with the world only to learn that he’s now doubled his vulnerability quotient, doubled the slings and arrows to which he’s subject, his own fate now secondary to his child’s." Keep telling the world its truth in the most beautiful way.
If there's any male for whom these particular slings and arrows penetrated their maleness I suspect it's you.
Wow! What a wonderful tribute to meeting the challenges of life! Thank you Cindy.
Credit where credits's due, Lynn gave me the ever succinct GBS. My version of what he said was much wordier.
What a treat to wake up to your essay this morning! Thanks for sharing your beautiful and painfully honest insights into motherhood. It makes me feel like maybe I didn't do it wrong – parenting was always meant to be impossibly hard. Purple hearts to all who dare(d)!
To you!
I love this bit in particular: 'Having kids is not a glad or not-glad thing. ...“Glad” I associate with getting my teeth cleaned or remembering to close the car windows. Parenting isn’t like that, it’s too big and brawling and messy....' Brava babycakes!
Thanks, my love.
You have so eloquently described the all encompassing, never ending spirit that is motherhood.
Thanks Cindy. My kids, like many of yours, are full-frontal adults now. And the hard work continues, but now it's the hard work of Keeping Myself to Myself, Mouth Shut, Expression Neutral, Not Being Defensive, Trying Not to be Hurt, after all those years of sweeping the ice in front of their curling rocks as they threaten to slide amok, while verbalizing softly and loudly. And your piece brought up another thought: I remember when daycares began hiring men over 30 years ago, but few took (take) up the offer. First of all, it's poorly paid, but I wonder if men simply don't want to undertake or even understand the hard work that caregiving is, how constantly challenging, sometimes mundane but not always, and yet soooo rewarding. And thus men (the patriarchy?) under-value it in our economy and in society. That's not a fully fledged thought, but there it is, public from me for the first time but probably not original. I hope your curling rock is gliding smoothly with all the right broom sweeps in play guiding the way. xo
Wiring? Conditioning? An aversion to poverty wages? Males and caregiving, an age old question for sure.